i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
