I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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