Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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