i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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