i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
