I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
