just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My vagina just clenched in fear
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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