Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my shit smells like andre
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
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