I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize