girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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