I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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