I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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