she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The air was thick with penises
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
