Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
