i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
