Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
