and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
