He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
