HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
