Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
as a side note pls kill me
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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