Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I need to wash the frat house off of me
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
