We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
