She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
