im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she told me i tasted like america
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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