i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
