I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
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Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
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It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize