No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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