Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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