Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I love having hate sex.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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