Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
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