I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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