I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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