you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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