so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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