I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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