The brown eye won't let me do that either.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
