upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
