Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
