Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
