why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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