You just made me feel so damn special
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
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Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
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At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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