I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
