So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Alive.
So much puke
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
