Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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