I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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