Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
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Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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