By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So much rum. So many feels.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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