maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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