chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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