Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
