I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
