It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
