p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
