In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
