my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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