Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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