that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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