i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
