i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
