Christians are straight up FREAKS
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
