I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
