we're blogging at a bar
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
