do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
